We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

I thought I knew “tough times” before 2020; but, from getting my college running career cut short, losing a real graduation, family changes, to seeing loved ones lost too soon, 2020 has become the definition of “tough times.”

2020 has forced us all to slow down and if you are anything like me that can make your thoughts go crazy! While slowing down, I realized how messed up our priorities are as a society. That, and also that we are so disengaged and scared of communicating how we are feeling.

My biggest take away from this roller coaster of a year has been this- We have a limited time on this planet, and I am not going to look back and regret not spending every chance I could with the people that matter to me. Because when the entire world shuts down for a pandemic– it’s not work, success, or money that is there for you– it’s your people; or at least I hope you had people to turn to during this challenging time.

You can only make so many excuses for what/how you prioritize your time before it becomes clear that these excuses are only showing what is actually important to you. Because if it is important to you, you don’t make excuses. You find a way to make the time for the things and people that matter. You can also only make so many excuses for the people you surround yourself with.

The title of this post “We accept the love we think we deserve,” is from my favorite movie, Perks of Being a Wallflower (highly recommend 😉 Why is it that we are willing to put and keep people in our lives that treat and give us less than we deserve. For some reason we allow our flaws and mistakes to make us believe that we deserve to be treated the way we are and we create excuses. “Well this person is lying to me because they do not want to hurt my feelings, this person is cheating because I can’t give them _____.” But the truth is, if they cared about you, they wouldn’t be lying and if they cared they would respect your boundaries.

It is not asking too much that the people in your life are honest with you. It is not asking too much that they show you respect by being straight up. It’s not asking too much that they respect your boundaries and feelings. Far too often we continue to make excuses because we think we are asking too much and that maybe these type of relationships (romantic, friends, family, etc.) do not exist in the first place. But…


We were created for connection. God created us in a hopes that we could form a few small and meaningful connections that change the lives of those involved. HE himself started with only 12. His circle was small. Although his circle was small, God was certain in the few that he had chose to surround himself with. He knew they were devoted and would put him first. These are the types of relationships that we were meant to have.

You deserve soo much more than bare minimum. You deserve to be happy and feel truly loved and not the type of love that society has made us believe is okay. You deserve relationships built on trust, respect, and honesty. We all deserve this and it does exist.

I want to challenge each of you to think about what you are prioritizing. What kind of excuses are you making when it comes to creating/maintaining relationships? My excuses range from work, not wanting to spend money, to still needing to get a workout in haha. Once you have pinpointed your own excuses, also think about the excuses others are using toward you. I’m not saying we should always be skipping work or something but I am saying that no one is too busy for the things and people that truly matter… and if someone is too busy, you deserve better than what they are giving you. Ask yourself, “how important is this relationship to me,” and adjust accordingly because life is so much shorter than we think and before we know it, that person could be gone.

Start accepting the love you KNOW you deserve.

xoxo- Marissa ❤


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