It feels like it has been forever since I have posted! Getting back into the flow of classes, practices, and races is always stressful; but we got a snow day today so I decided I better take advantage of the extra time to make a post!

In one of my previous posts I talked about how I wanted 2019 to be a year of loving myself and accepting myself more… Lets just say this has not been easy and we are not even a complete month into the year!

As soon as I got back to school my car broke down. Flash forward three weeks and I am still without a car and about to have a very large repair bill (crying hysterically). I seem to be questioning everything I am doing and wondering why no matter how hard I try it all seems to be against me. I find myself unmotivated to do homework/study and constantly feel drained.

I have always been a firm believer that our struggles make us stronger. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors. Times of trial and pain are tests of our faithfulness in his plan for each of us. I know that while I may not understand why I am where I am, it is all part of God’s plan. It is hard in the moment to see that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel but it helps to remember past tough times and how you did get through them. No one can know true happiness without knowing darkness. It is the hard times in life that make the good times in life that much better.

It is times like these when I remember why I started running in the first place. We may not be able to run away from our problems but it sure is nice to feel like we can. The things that seem to be unraveling my life are everyday occurrences for others (or such small problems they mean nothing) and I am constantly reminding myself of how blessed I am to have the life I have… even during harder times.

So for anyone else who got put on the struggle bus at the start of 2019, keep your head up and eyes open… your light will be back. Love yourself hard and embrace your time of trial.

-XOXO

How many of you beat yourselves up over little mistakes you make? Or maybe you find that you are always holding yourself on a serious and rigid path…

Throughout this past semester I have realized that this was me to a T. I took everything seriously; everything I did had to be perfect, otherwise it was worth nothing in my eyes. However, I started to realize the toll this took on me both mentally and physically. You can not be perfect at everything you do, you must pick and choose where you put the most energy. What do you value the most in your life? It is likely these areas that do or should receive most of your energy. But even when you narrow down your areas of focus, life still wears on you. We get so focused on our goals, self-image, and what -ifs that we forget that we are all only human.

No one is always perfect; NO ONE, and no one should be. It is okay to not always be so strict with yourself. It is okay to do what you want to do in the moment. Life is short and we should not always spend it worrying about others opinions, what-ifs, and fears.

I have learned that by stepping back and loosening the reins (metaphorically speaking) I put on myself, I allow many new doors to open. Plus the things I value and direct most of my energy to also get better! Sometimes we use up so much energy stressing over our goals/ambitions that we create pressure on ourselves that is not needed. We actually use more energy be hard on ourselves than we do when doing the actual work…

As we enter 2019, many of us will make New Years Resolutions that will last 2 months if we are lucky… but, what-if instead we all made a resolution to love ourselves a little better. To not beat ourselves up over every little mistake. To open our eyes and realize that mistakes are a part of life. That they are what make us who we are. A resolution to allow ourselves to do what we want and be who we want without fear. To own who we are from the inside out and love all the flaws we each possess. A resolution to forgive others for their mistakes. Lets make 2019 the year of finding the human in each of us again!

Do you ever find yourself anxious for a certain event/day to come? We get so excited about what is around the corner that we forget to be fully present in the moment. We look forward to outcomes without putting much thought into the processes that allow us to achieve these outcomes.

I can think of many examples of the too often “outcome orientated goals;” losing weight, getting a certain GPA, or saying you are going to be the best at something. All of these goals are great; but do they have a plan behind them? We live in a society craving instant gratification, and because of this, our goals are goals centered around an outcome without a plan or process to reach the desired goal.

I do not want to make it sound like I am diminishing goal setting because that is not what I mean. While I believe goal setting is an important part of self-care, the way many people goal set has them so fixated on the goal that they forget about the steps they are taking to reach that goal.

My goal this past cross country season was to make it to Nationals. Yes, this is an outcome goal. However, I knew the steps I was going to have to take to achieve this goal. The things I was going to have to give up and the things I was going to have to start doing. Trying to achieve a goal takes a lot of time, dedication, and self-worth. It is when I was in the process of reaching my goal that I grew. I learned new things about myself . I made memories with my teammates. I laughed, cried, and struggled. When I look back on my season I know that I reached my goal because I committed to the journey of getting there. I made myself present at every practice, meet, and during my personal time. I embraced the process. I fell in love with the daily grind that had to take place in order to achieve my goal.

I hope all of you have goals and dreams that you want to achieve. But, I hope even more that you embrace the journey of reaching those goals/dreams and be proud of yourself along the way. The ups and downs that are going to take place while getting there are going to be the things you remember the most. You will find yourself changing along the way and truly enjoying life… because after all, most of life is just a process. Embrace it!

“Sometimes changing the world means changing your world, as gradually as you need to, as gently as you heal, because sometimes courage isn’t made up of war, and bloodshed; sometimes courage isn’t made of combat. Sometimes courage is a quiet fight, a dim softness within you, that flickers even on your darkest days, and reminds you that you are strong, that you are growing– that there is hope.”

Bianca Sparacino

Disclaimer, I stole this title from my pastor’s sermon yesterday because I think it can be tied into so many parts of our lives. He was explaining the little ways God is always trying to “invade” our lives and how/if we respond to God’s invasions. We are always so quick to respond to external threats, the things that happen outside us and in our environment, but how quickly do we respond to the wars that take place within us. It is these wars that lay the foundation for how we respond to everything else. 

I am a firm believer that allowing ourselves to openly struggle leads to  greater success than if we were to throw in the towel when things get tough, no matter the outcome. Struggles are God’s way of invading our lives. He is telling us, “Hold up! Something is not right here. We need to evaluate what you have been doing.” I have seen this brighter than day with my running. Injuries are a part of the sport and I have definitely had my fair share of them. Every time it happens I can here God saying, “This isn’t the end but we need to change something. Have you been over-training? Not recovering properly? Under eating?” Every injury comes with the internal battle of quitting verse working through the struggle to come out stronger. God was telling me to trust in him and what he was saying and he would carry me through the struggle, showing me that his love conquers all….I had an amazing cross country season this past year and none of it would have been possible if I had not listened to God during my period of struggle.

It is so easy to turn to external “answers” during times of struggle. People find themselves stealing when they run out of money to pay for their addiction; instead of realizing that God is trying to invade their lives and help them through. Running out of money is the sign that something needs to change! People drink away the pain they feel instead of trying to pinpoint why exactly they feel the way they do. We have rough days at work only to come home and take it out on our loved ones. We continually allow ourselves to take the easier paths. Paths that we can use as excuses for why we do the things we do; when in all reality we just refuse to work on ourselves. It is scary to admit to yourself that something is wrong with you; that you need to change but it is one of the most important parts of finding yourself and reaching your potential. 

The next time you find yourself struggling with something whether it be losing someone you love, not performing to your best ability, being tight on money, or even just a rough day at work; I challenge you to not jump to your usual way of “solving” the problem. Instead, sit and listen for awhile, because God will be there trying to tell you something. Have the courage to  truly work through the hard times and win the war….because the invasion never stops.

Hello and welcome to my first ever blog! I am really excited to do this. Creating a blog is something I have been wrestling with since this past summer. I feel like I have a lot of motivational insight and advice to share with other; plus I love helping others and if that means sharing my own experiences and mistakes, so be it! I just got home from Waldorf (the university I attend), and I thought what better time to kick off my blog than during some down time.

Now before you freak out thinking this blog is going to be all about nutrition and fitness because that is what my major is, rest assured that this blog will have posts ranging from my running all the way down to the little things that have tested me through the day or week. I am still figuring out  exactly how this site works and what I want it to look like so the first couple weeks could be interesting.

I think I will leave it at that for now so I can get ready for church and then family baking. Am I the only one that loves the holidays for the pure reason that I get to come home and be around some of my favorite people! Happy Sunday lovelies. Now go and conquer the day! 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton